Mood Rings
by star-dreamer09
Summary: Eric secretly writes about his theory about girls and their emotions Rated Teen for a few words and some suggestive material.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters. I did not come up with this idea on my own either. I owe most of it to my good pals Relient K and their song Mood Rings.

_Mood Rings_

Girls, you can't live with them, you can't live without them. Why do they have to be so confusing? Guys are so much simpler to understand; we are either angry or happy, nothing else. Girls on the other hand, they are sad or happy, angry, depressed, stressed, aggravated, frustrated, upset, slaphappy, calm, calm, or nervous, and so much more that I can't possible list all of their emotions… and that is in just one day. Girls are so complicating. There just has to be a way to understand them and all their emotions. I mean, one simple comment like, "you look nice today", can mean five different things to them, depending on their mood. If they are in an angry mood, they may take that as a sarcastic comment or a sick pervertive comment and get all defensive when all you were trying to do was compliment their hair or something. Then you have them pissed off at you for the rest of the day, or even the rest of the week. The second way they may react, for instance, if they were in a happy or joyous mood, they will take that compliment way to far and start to go overdramatic with how they look, spending hours in front of the mirror, just so they can have the same compliment given to them again. It just doesn't make any sense! If they are in a fearful mood, or a venerable mood and they receive that compliment, they may take it as an attack on themselves. They will tend to compare themselves to others and begin to think that they only are equal in looks to other girls when they receive complements from us guys. Then if they don't receive said complements, they begin to fall into a state of depression, and it is no fun to deal with those kinds of mood swings. However, the most dangerous emotion is when they are in a "loving" mood when they receive that compliment; they take it way further than what you intended it to be taken as. They begin to become obsessive with you and try to impress you in whatever way, and just end up making a fool of themselves. It is just way too complicating for my liking. I don't understand why girls let their emotions get the best of them. Why can't they just take it as a sincere compliment, and then just shrug it off like us guys?

That is why, after all my experience with girls, I have come to the conclusion that all girls need to wear mood rings. It will help us guys so much in the long run; it will make life so much safer for us. That way, we know exactly what they are thinking, and we don't have to deal with the whole "you look nice today" misunderstanding. It just makes no sense to me, how a creature as pretty as girls, can act so…not pretty. When they are ticked off, they yell, and scream, and they give you this look that you swear could kill you. And what really gets me is the way that one minute, they are ready to kill you if you say one word to them, then five minutes later, they start to laugh and give you hugs like nothing you do could anger them. Their mood swings give me such a headache. I swear they have a bipolar disorder, every single one of them. It's like the making of a girls; one part sugar to one part spice to one part everything nice, to ten parts bipolar. If you're a guy, I think that you can vogue for this. This one girl in particular, wow…is she a piece of work. I think sometimes she has mood swings just to make me miserable. One time she said to me, "I'm so happy, it's almost depressing". There are so many things wrong with this statement. A.) She never says anything like this. This just isn't her normal personality, that is, the closest thing to a personality girls can have. B.) How can you be happy and depressing? They are on complete different sides of the spectrum! You are either happy, or you are depressed, not both. If anyone can explain that to me, please, enlighten me! I think that girls need a mood ring so they can figure out their own emotions. If she can't even tell if she is happy or depressed, how in the heck are we supposed to be able to comprehend their moods?

I don't understand why people are so wrapped up in these reality TV shows. All they are is drama, drama, drama. All the drama I need comes from girls. Just grab a bag of popcorn and go watch a girl. They form their own drama in five seconds. They are like all the best drama shows wrapped up in one covenant package. It's like watching Boy Meets World, Days of Our Lives, and The Hills all at once. It really doesn't get better than girls, entertainment wise, until they turn on you. Then they are the worst possible disaster that God could have created. Have you eve wondered why the population guys in jail is so much higher than the girls in jail? It is almost like girls can get away with murder, just by batting their eyes at you. We guys fall for it every time…it is our one fatal flaw…one that the girls have picked up on. They can anger us beyond belief, and then when we are about to explode, they just bat their big eyes, and watch us sympathize, it makes me sick. Yes, even I fall for it sometimes…but you have to give me some slack. I can keep track of their emotions just as well as any of you…that's right, not very well. It's kind of like watching their moods swing on the swing set, they go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, until you get so dizzy that you give up on trying to keep track of them and just go out and buy a safety helmet for the disasters that you know will lye ahead due to their emotions.

Now back to this particular girl that I have yet to figure anything about. Another comment she made to me was "I'm so stressed out that it's soothing". Now, after my rant of girls and their confussingness, can anyone figure out how confused I was by this statement? That's right, being stressed out is in no way soothing. It is one of the most painful moods to be in. When I **do **get stressed out, I have massive headaches that no medicine can help, so how can girls find stress soothing. I find swimming and relaxing soothing, not stress. It…doesn't…make…sense! We have had 43 different male presidents, and several thousands of brilliant male scientist and philosopher, and we have yet to figure out how to keep girls emotions in check. This mood ring idea really is genius. Just think about it, if it's black, it means that you need to watch out because you are the last person in the entire world that she wants to see right now. But if it's blue, it means that you should seize this opportunity because they are easy to deal with, because she will basically give into anything. If you ask her out or ask her to do something, she will most likely accept or agree. However, if it is green, it means that she is stressed out and you should probably either leave her alone, or sooth her in some way, shape, or form. But, during those rare, yet amazingly great moments when the ring would be clear, she would be in her best emotion; emotionless. Those times I must admit are the best times because I don't have to deal with any of those complicated emotions. I can actually talk to her without having to worry about her going to any extreme sides of the mood spectrum…those are times are priceless. But they don't usually last for long. I really do think that the mood ring solves all the problems of this complicated topic of girls…at least this portion of them. They can solve one of the biggest mysteries known to man kind; girls emotions. Maybe, just maybe, we will be able to understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind…just maybe.

"Eric, what are you up to... what are you writing?" Taylor asked quietly as she entered the room, closing the door behind her. _Damn it…she shut the door behind her, now there is no way to escape…_ Eric thought as he tried to hide his thoughts under several piles of books and other notes.

"Oh nothing, just writing some thoughts down about…some…uh, stuff." He stuttered as Taylor made her way over to Eric's desk. He scrambled to his feet in attempts to draw her attention away from the pile of papers, but her eyes had a hint of suspicion hidden beneath her deep blue eyes. "Taylor…what are you doing-"Eric tried to say when he realized her suspicion, but he was cut off when she dodged his attempts to force her away from his desk. She ducked underneath his arms and immediately pulled out the poorly hidden paper. Eric began to try to retrieve the paper back from her, but failed when she pulled the paper out of his reach and found his one weakness; at the nape of his neck, Taylor began to tickle Eric, forcing him to immediately draw back a few feet. "Taylor stop. You know how much I hate that-"but he quickly stopped that thought when he saw Taylor begin to gaze over the paper. In fear and desperation, Eric began to stutter again. "Now Taylor, babe, it's not what you think...It's just…it's not mine…its Coles. He gave it to me…and I was reading it over. You know I would never write anything like that." He tried to lie while trying to take the paper back, but Taylor dodged him when she saw him approach her out of the corner of her eye. She jumped onto the nearby bed, then off again, throwing a chair into his path, all while not taking her eyes off the paper even once. She then paused for a moment, and Eric saw her face change from a victorious grin, to a confused frown, then to angry and furious eyes. "Tay…sweetheart…" Eric tried to say in attempts to sweet talk her.

"They don't even understand their own emotions. It's like they all have the bipolar disorder. I think the mood ring will help us understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind. Girls need to wear mood rings for our own safety." She began to growl lowly as she started to walk furiously towards Eric, yet slowly.

"Babe, it's not what it seems like-"

"I'll give you something to understand!" With that, Taylor began to sprint after Eric, but he escaped the room before she could get her hands on him. She chased him out of the building, past Wes and Cole near the pool. "Come here Eric, I'll give you something to fall for!" She yelled as she finally caught up with Eric. When he turned around to see how close she was, she pushed him into the pool. She stopped in satisfaction and waited until he surfaced up to the top of the water. "Oh by the way Eric," she began in a sarcastic tone, "according to my mood ring, it is yellow, so that must mean I am in jussive mood, meaning that I'm ready for revenge at anytime, and I am prepared for any type of apology…but that doesn't mean that I won't still get even with you." She gave him a side smirk, then walked away, swaying her hips suggestively, but not before batting her eyes. By this time, Eric was to the edge of the pool and his arms rested on the concrete and he then let out a sigh as he muttered under his breath, "Gets me every time…great. Now she knows another weakness. Now she's going to be even more impossible to live with."

"What do you think that was all about?" Cole questioned to Wes after witnessing Taylor's revenge on Eric, with a slight flirtatious flaunt thrown in it to tease Eric. Wes just smiled and let out a short chuckle.

"Oh, Eric probably did something stupid and Taylor was just getting even for it. He probably deserved it."

"What do you think she meant by 'my mood ring is yellow'?"

"I guess you haven't heard Eric's mood ring theory, have you?" Cole just shook his head in response. Wes let out another short chuckle before beginning. "Well, he has told me this theory several times. Each time he adds a little more…and it has gotten really in depth once he started spending more time with Taylor…and it goes something like this…"

**Authors note: **Ok, I just have to say, this is not an attack on girls, in fact, I myself am a girl. I just got inpired by Relient K and had to write this. I hope you all enjoyed it and got a good laugh out of it!


End file.
